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Dumped & Betrayed: A Life Lesson

May 13th, 2010 · 3 Comments

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It’s a timeless scenario: two boys fighting in the playground, coming to blows with fists; the foulest of language and racist slurs employed for maximum punch. “You dumb f**kin Asian,” one screams at the other.

From the earliest records of history, young men have positioned themselves on either side of an imaginary line and declared themselves enemies. So there’s nothing unusual about a schoolyard fight. Except that in this particular case, the boys are actually best friends. The very best kind of friends. Buddies since kindergarten. Inseparable at school and on the weekends.

A girl has come between them. Seems that the girl dumped Friend A for Friend B. Friend B happily accepted the girl’s advances and affection and Friend A was feeling betrayed. These boys are 12 years old and days after the schoolyard punch-up they are still seething.

When I was told this true tale, I felt sad for these two friends who have allowed a girl that neither of them will remember in a couple of years (or even weeks at this age) to come between them. I listen to grown men on the radio discussing the rules of mateship. One of the key rules apparently is to “never cut your mate’s grass”. So girlfriends and wives are off limits. Remember the uproar when AFL player Wayne Carey slept with his best friend’s wife?

So perhaps we should be teaching our children this rule from a very young age, at least by the onset of puberty. It’s probable that Friend B was so excited that the girl was paying him attention that he didn’t stop to consider the feelings of Friend A. And that’s the other thing we should be encouraging our teenagers and tweenagers to do: think how it would feel if they put themselves in the shoes of others.

Friend A, at the tender age of 12, has suffered a double blow. He was dumped by a girl for the first time in his young life – and we all know the first time is the hardest. But then he was betrayed by his best friend, a more bitter pill to swallow at any age.

I’ve been ear-bashing my sons for years to: a) avoid hurting a girl’s feelings to the best of their ability, and b) never betray their friends for personal gain.

It’s stories like this that reassure me I’m on the right track – even if my sons think I’m crazy.

Tags: Relationships · Rules · friends

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Melissa // May 17, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    God I hate this age! Batten down the hatches. They don’t come out of it until they’re at least 19!

  • 2 ultrasound technician // May 19, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

  • 3 Finding the best CNA School // May 20, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

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