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How To Outwit Your Teenager

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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do For Teens

June 12th, 2009 · 1 Comment


When did teenagers get so deep and meaningful?

If you roam the teenage chatrooms and check out Facebook pages, you’ll be overwhelmed with the public outpouring of emotion. And it’s no longer just teenage girls waxing lyrical about the one they love. In fact, it’s actually less likely to be the girls. They’re much more likely to be in it for a good time, not a long time (as the saying goes).

It’s the teenage boys who are losing their hearts (and often minds) to ‘love’. A friend recounted the story of her daughter’s dumping by a boyfriend of a few months. He told her that he couldn’t be with her because he didn’t feel that she was the one. Apparently every time he kissed her he felt guilty that he was doing so under false pretences. He wanted to remain one of her very best friends though because deep down he did love her in some way. The story’s protagonists are aged 16 and 17.

Now while I’m all for boys developing their emotional side, it does worry me that they’re getting caught up in such deep feelings at such a young age when they should be enjoying themselves. The teen years should be light and frivolous, not fraught with intensity and drama.

I bang on to my boys about the importance of not breaking girls’ hearts (should they ever get lucky enough to be in a position to). My theory is that if they keep it light and loose, they won’t risk hurting a girl with anything other than unrequited love (a common girl drama, for another column).

Instead it seems that teenage boys are diving into deep, adult-style emotions without the maturity to deal with them. So what happens when their hearts are broken? It’s tough enough to deal with this when you’re an adult and past the raging, irrational hormones bit.

I worry all the time about the increased potential for teenage depression. Throwing the ‘L’ word into the mix only heightens the risk.

Let’s talk to our kids about the meaning of love. To date, the communication requirements have focused on discussions around sex. But most are getting wise to that now.

If they understand that at their age what they’re feeling/thinking/doing can’t possibly be love, no matter how much they try and convince themselves it is, then hopefully the comedown will be easier and we won’t be left to pick up the shattered pieces of a failed teen romance.


Tags: Depression · Media · Puberty · Relationships · sex

1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Diabetes Free // Apr 24, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    This is a really good tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere.
    Simple but very accurate information… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

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